Celebrating YOU On Mother’s Day
By Lori Barr
Can you believe it’s May 6? I feel like it was just March 13 when the Governor of California issued stay-at-home orders to help slow the spread of Covid-19. We are now almost two months into this and I have to say the time has flown by. Working from home is no joke. In between writing, Zoom meetings, planning sessions, and research, I get a few loads of laundry done, make lunch and dinner, walk the dogs, and try to get a work out in. The days are full! I hope you are finding ways to keep yourself healthy and sane. I know it’s not easy, especially with little ones at your feet.
This week, I want to focus on celebrating mom. Mine, yours, you, me. When you are a single mom, often times, days like Mother’s Day is just another mark on the calendar. Even if that’s not the case for you, and your kids and loved ones make you feel like the queen you are, I want you to know that there is a special place in my heart for you. I want you to know you’re admired, appreciated, and loved!
Raising kids alone is hard. It requires strength and stamina, fearless determination and grit, creativity and vision, but mostly unselfish love. There is nobody around to look to and say, “What do you think, babe?”, “What should we do?”, “How should we do this?” or most importantly, “Can you watch the kids? I need a break.” The decisions and responsibilities are yours alone and that can be really hard, and exhausting.
Now that my kids are older, I can take a step back and reflect on just how powerful I am. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I did a damn good job. Because of me, my kids grew into amazing, thoughtful, intelligent humans who are infinitely better than anything I could have hoped for, but more importantly, everything I had ever hoped for myself. They were and are living, breathing examples of what happens when unselfish loves transcends everything else. Don’t get me wrong. I screwed up. A lot. You’ve read about some of that right here. But beyond all of that, I loved my kids more than I ever thought I could love anything. The (unfinished) result? It worked. It mattered. They’re incredible people. The sacrifices, pain, challenges were all worth it.
I know doing this on your own is hard and probably not what you had planned for your life. I want to assure you that what you do as a single mom does not go unnoticed. I see you. I hear you. I know you. Because, I am you. Trust yourself and allow yourself grace and forgiveness when you don’t get things right. I promise it will be ok. If your child could leap into the future, I believe wholeheartedly he would say thank you for being you. She would tell you that the sacrifices were worth it. And, he would tell you that you did a good job and you are loved. Having grown sons who are now on the other side of childhood, they’ve shared exactly those sentiments and so I can say with confidence that you and yours will be ok, too.
Take some time this weekend for some self-care and appreciation. Linger in a bubble-bath. Have a nice strong cup of coffee or a warm tea. Spend time with yourself just after the kids go to bed, and tell yourself that you are enough. You deserve it.
Happy Mother’s Day to you. You are strong. You are selfless. You are loved.